So, It finally happened. I am back. I am back after a long sleep. A month full of sleep.
It feels good to be back and writing after a month long break. Wasn’t a required break. It was a break from the real world, a break from the things I love the most, a break from being what I am in reality, a break that broke me.
I remember the day it all started. Since that day, I was in a deep state of depression, sobbing every time, in need of something, that I guess I have found out now is nothing but self-peace. This past month had been very difficult for me. I have been trying to stay away from the situations which I hate, the people who provided me with just negativity. Basically, I have been trying to stay away from the cobweb of problems I was in by trying to distance myself from the elements, being with whom, I usually got myself disturbed deep in mind. And finally, I can say now that I am out of that cobweb.
It was bad. I was hurt. Very hurt. Many things occupied my mind. So many negative thoughts. The feeling of being lonely destroyed me. I always felt as if I was alone all the time. Didn’t want to talk to anyone about anything. Felt like staying quite all day long. And when the day was full, couldn’t stop me from crying and taking the pressure out.
It was like, no matter how much I wanted to share what was there in mind I just couldn’t. Over-thinking was at a high. Whenever I sat on my couch with a cup of coffee to relax, negative thoughts just came over uninvited and swooped over my mind.
I decided to fight back. I did. And today, a brand new me is back.
No matter how many temptations I feel to be with those elements again, I think I won’t go for them ever again. Because now I know what and being with whom makes me happy. And I have decided to be happy forever.
This past month has taught me a lot. I have experienced what I didn’t want to. My thoughts had been compulsive enough to strangle me and put me in this state, to which I have fought mustering up all my strength.
Be it any situation, some people will always be with you to help you. You just have to tell them what is going on. And they will help you. Don’t expect everyone to be like that. You can’t change some people even if you want them to do so deeply, that you stop being happy only because of them. Because it isn’t worth it. Nothing is more worth than your own happiness.
Not everyone comes in your life to support you in your difficult times. Not everyone is trustworthy even if they are close to you. Even if they are close to you, you might be an option for them. And when they themselves convey this to you, even indirectly, they aren’t worth even a single second of your time. Don’t waste your time over these stupid people and move on. Because moving on is the best thing that you can do when there is no other option.
There are so many things that I may be good at. But moving on from these situations was the hardest for me. I actually lost my own identity passing away from these situations. And this situation actually gave me a lot of confidence and experience that I shouldn’t do what I did. And I am proud of it.
And from now on, I am gonna be like this only. Always positive. Always confident.